20 Things I've Learned in the Last Year

I've been rolling these things around in my mind for awhile now and have finally decided to get them down on paper. Most of these things I had heard somewhere before throughout my 20 some years (;D) but didn't have an actual example that applied it to me specifically until recently. Some of these things were learned the hard way. But all of it was enlightening, and I hope you get something from them too ;D

1. People disappoint you. It’s a fact of life. And more often than not, it is purely unintentional.

2. Everyone is different. In the absolute most fundamental way. Everyone has different perceptions on everything because they have all grown up in a different environment, with different influences, and forming brain connections at different times etc etc etc.

3. Further to number 2 – Perception = Biased Perspective. This is often the basis for most arguments, disagreements and fights.

4. Further to number 3 – the belief that, in an argument someone is right and someone is wrong is not only narrow-minded but also, (and ironically) false. Most of the time, all parties are right because of the fact in number 2. People come at all things from their own heads. Metaphysically, since their upbringing, environment, beliefs, and experiences have drawn them to the conclusion they have, how can anyone say they are wrong?

5. Most things happen for a reason. And please keep in mind I’m only coming at this from MY OWN fairly sheltered experience. I am not commenting on rape victims, families of murdered members etc etc. Just from my own life, and the lives of people around me. And I did say MOST things happen for a reason. Not all.

6. Further to number 5 – there is a way to see the good in almost everything. There is a logical, theoretical, and mathematical way to apply the concepts of ‘The Secret’ to life. I have a vague understanding of this, but not quite concrete enough to write a dissertation ;)

7.  People change. But the paradigm here is that this statement includes you too. So the change may be small in the others, but when you change at the same time, the combined effect seems much larger.

8. The concept of Opportunity Cost is much more prevalent in most peoples’ decision making than they realize.

9. Crying is allowed. But there is a limit to how much other people tolerate. And that limit depends on many factors.

10. I have a theory on why there is so much divorce – up until the time we marry, we as a society are presented with everything in our lives in the construct of a specific timeline. School is only so many months of the year. Then, that particular SCHOOL is only so many years before you move to another. Even once graduated, the average person nowadays works at a job for 3-4 years. And then, standing up at the altar, we are asked to commit to something FOREVER, a concept we have NEVER had to consider before… Is it any wonder marriages fall apart in the first couple of years???

11. The statement “People come into your life for a reason, a season, or forever” is truer than most people realize, and causes a lot of pain when your idea of where a person should fit isn’t actually true. It is a sign of great maturity when you are able to see that your perception was off, and accept the real slot that person fits into.

12. Everyone has their shit/Everyone has their story. And there’s a time and place to delve into that. But again, balance. There needs to be a limit. And everyone should take turns both telling their story and listening to others’ stories.

13. There are people in the world who, to the rest of us, appear perfect, and blessed. The ones for whom everything goes smoothly. And for some of them, the ax never does fall. And I believe those people are here to be shoulders for those of us who do have more trials. They are our supporters, and we are better equipped to handle trials because of these people and their help.

14. It isn’t fair to compare trials. Because the most pressing pain for any given person is the worst pain they’ve ever experienced. So, regardless of the trial causing the pain, their pain is just as real as any others’.

15. We are social creatures. As much as I believe there is a way to achieve happiness purely within oneself, we still all need to feel important to others as well.

16. The world IS amazing. And there’s a lot to be said for seeing it, experiencing it, and appreciating it.

17. Most of the time, conflicts can be solved quickly because people are often only looking for the following: a) To be heard b) An apology (ie: validation).

18. Things will go wrong. It’s not about avoiding problems. It’s about how you deal with them.

19. Allow yourself victory. Sorry to say, but for the most part no one else is going to continuously build you up, and pat you on the back. So do yourself a favor, and do it FOR yourself.

20. There are so many things in the world that can stress us out. Really analyze the things that do, and decide if they are worth it. Because if they aren’t, there are many more things that are out there merely to be experienced, and marveled at. A much more worthy past time don’t you think?