In the last five days, I've attended a play, a fundraiser-type event, a funeral service, a bridal shower, and a general social gathering (BBQ), and I felt the need, per se, to comment on them. I think social events/gatherings can say a lot about human nature. After all, we are indeed social creatures. As I've said before, we really do need other people in our lives, much as some may argue, and much as some may hate to admit it. But truly, we do need to be with others. And there are innumerable ways of doing that.
Some ways are more interactive than others. For example, a BBQ holds more opportunity for interaction than, say, going out to a play. Some are more emotionally charged as in the case of a funeral service or perhaps a fundraiser, depending on what the funds are being raised for. Having run the full gamut of emotions this week (crying at funerals, and laughing at bridal showers) I really appreciate the diversity in my life. What's so amazing, is that this is available to all of us, in all our lives.
I invite you to think about your week, either just past, or coming up. Perhaps even extend that out to a month. What social events/gatherings did you attend. And, more importantly, WHY? Because to me, this is one of the most interesting questions to ask with regards to social events. When there are so many choices, so many varied activities, what is it that makes one choose an event over another? As mentioned in my 20 Things I've Learned This Year, Opportunity Cost is very prevalent in most peoples' decision making process. So, how do we rule out what we attend, and what we don't, and which cost is the least, and which benefit is the best? And are we always right?
Some gatherings are no brainers. Funerals are a good example of this. It is one of the only social gatherings in which it is acceptable to hold it at any time during the week, and people are permitted to put everything on pause in order to attend. Perhaps this is why it is a no brainer? There is very little opportunity cost with regards to a funeral, as you cannot lose your job, your friends/spouse/family cannot blame you, and essentially, the world will stand still so that you may attend. And so, with nothing to lose, we are free to attend. In thinking about this further, it is really only fair. As funeral's are so painful, there should be no downfall in attending and paying ones respects. As I attended one this week, the thought did occur to me that it is such a shame that one of the main events that draws all the people you care about into one room for you happens when you are no longer around. Seems like such a waste.
Making the decision to go to fundraisers, or to a play invites a little bit more of the weighing of options, pros, cons etc. As these two often demand the commitment of more than just time (and often monetarily) what is it that drives people to make such commitments? I would like to say some of it is curiosity? A sense of just looking for something out there, something different. I think supporting others in their efforts can come into play (pardon the pun) as it did for me... And the desire (in the case of a fundraiser) to help add to something bigger than oneself? Trying to attain Maslow's Self Actualization by reaching out to do good for others, for the environment, for the economy, or even for the world at large.
And then we come to the last category (of my events anyways) that of the bridal shower, and the BBQ. The BBQ offers a chance to merely catch up, to touch base with others, to enjoy other company. Whether they are with close friends, relatives, or people you only share a few things in common with, the decisions to attend stem from the concept of Opportunity Cost at it's very core. Bridal showers, however, invite a certain paradigm to them. They are almost always happy, they are always sort of an expected rite of passage, a marking-of-time, a pushpin in the roadmap of life. It is to support our fellow human beings, our peers, that we attend these events. And yet, we benefit as well, as we are able to step in to this roadmap and be a part of this rite of passage. We glimpse the road, and we mark time, and it is a sort of opportunity for us to re-evaluate our own roadmap, and (though we'd sometimes rather not) compare it amongst ourselves. This can make such an event hard or great, and can also determine our will to attend, or even how long we stay... In my case, I was just happy to be there, glimpse the road and say "I'm okay, you're okay, it's all okay. Carry on". :)
Social events are an opportunity to have a touch stone. To see others and have them see us. To remember we are all part of the same world, but are allowed, and even encouraged to view it and approach it differently. I am blessed to have so many avenues to explore this with. And I hope you are all more aware of the social events you attend, especially as the summer draws near. Make conscious decisions, and be present at the events. They are such rich opportunities for self and human nature discoveries!!
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